From The Desk of Maverick Brenton.
Subject: Fuck Regret.
There is nothing more pointless than regret.
The regret of what you should have done.
The regret of what you did not do.
The regret of what could have been.
The life you could of had.
We all regret something and we all wish we could go back in time to get another shot.
Another chance – to do it differently.
We all wish we could do that.
But we cannot.
We cannot go back and change anything.
The past is gone forever and you do not get a second chance.
You can look back in disappointment over what could have been.
You can think about how great things would have been if you made better decisions – if you just avoided those little mistakes that caused the downward spiral.
You can ponder what could have been and you can picture in your head how great things could have been.
You can waste as much time as you want doing this – but you will change nothing.
You will only waste more time.
What you did in the past is done and it cannot be changed.
You are the one who chose to do what you did and now you must accept the consequences.
The more you run from the past the worse you will make yourself feel.
Do not run from who you were and what you did in the past because you will never escape it.
You will carry it inside your mind until your death so you must face what you did and accept it.
The past only exists in your mind.
In reality the past does not exist – only the present moment exists.
When you think back over the past you are thinking about something that does not exist anymore.
You must MOVE ON.
By looking back at what could have been you are wasting the precious time you have right now.
Time that you could be using to turn things around and build a better life right now.
Every single second that you allow to slip past you is a second that falls into the past and will never come back.
The warrior does not regret.
The warrior accepts that he is the product of his mistakes in the past.
Then he moves forward and does not look back.
He sets his vision upon a new summit and does not wear himself down with the burden of regret about the failures that lay behind him.
They are behind him and exist no longer.
He knows better and is better because of his failures.
So he pushes forward and looks towards the future that he does have the power to shape.
He does not grasp for what is not in his control.
With his attention fixed solely upon what can be controlled in the present moment – he makes progress.
All thoughts of the past fall away as he builds something new and something better.
This is the way of the warrior.
It is the way towards the light and out of the darkness.
I used to wish I could go back.
I used to wish I could do things differently in the past.
I used to wish until I learnt that wishing does nothing.
Wishing is throwing stones in the ocean and expecting them to come back to you.
You know it will never happen but you do it anyway.
Warriors do not wish for what could have been or what should have been.
They focus on what is RIGHT NOW.
They focus on what they can control RIGHT NOW.
They focus their attention on what is actually within their power to shape – the future that is coming.
The warrior knows deeply that the past is an illusion and it simply does not exist.
He knows the only thing that does exist is this moment right now and that what he does in this moment right now determines his future.
SO DO NOT LOOK BACK.
The past does not exist.
Look forward and march towards something better than what you have right now.
Envision it in your mind.
Let the vision of what you WILL become push regret out through the cracks in the back of your mind.
Let the vision of what you want to build drive you out of bed every single day.
Let it completely crush all the regret.
This is how you move forward out of the darkness.
You stop looking backwards and you dig in – you hold the line against regret.
Then you begin the march up the mountain towards something better.
The higher you ascend the more distant all feelings of regret will become.
So no matter how far you have fallen.
No matter how heavy the weight of your regret.
No matter what happened in the past.
You can at any moment decide to stand fast and turn your gaze towards what could be.
You can pull yourself up – up towards the light.
You can stop looking at what no longer exists and you can embrace what does exist.
Accept your fate with open arms and make the most out of it because there is always something you can do to get better.
There is always a way to improve and there is always a new summit you can climb towards.
There is also the option to give up.
To submit yourself to death and no longer feel the pain.
Life makes this tempting sometimes – but the warrior does not take his own life.
The warrior knows that is cowardice – the ultimate sin.
Death will accept you with open arms if you do choose that path but he will be disappointed in you.
He will be disappointed because you gave in when you could have fought back harder – when you could have created something new for yourself.
In his disappointment he will take you in though.
He will lead you back into the darkness where you came from.
So just remember that while you sit around looking back at what could have been – death is coming for you.
You cannot see him yet but every second he draws closer.
Every moment that passes he gets a little closer to you.
You will feel when he is near – you will know your time has come and that time WILL COME.
He is completely silent – invisible to the human eye.
He cannot be seen.
He can only be felt.
He casts a shadow behind him as he moves through time.
His head does not move and his hollow eyes are fixed on one thing.
They are fixed on you.
While you are looking behind you death is in the distance making his way towards you.
Getting closer with every second that passes.
He does not stop.
He moves slowly but with devilish purpose – the gaze of his dark eyes do not leave you.
They stay fixed upon you until he is right in front of you.
What will you do when you turn around and he is looking you in the eye?
Will you nod your head without words and walk by his side into the underworld?
Will you scream and beg for more time as he drags you out of your life?
The warrior walks alongside death without fear.
In complete silence he follows death down into the darkness.
As the light fades out he looks around him to savour the final moments of his life.
One final glance at the world.
One final breath of air.
One last kiss from his lover.
There is no crying and no wishing for more time – the warrior accepts that his time is up and that he must now go.
He never looks back.
Do not look back and regret what you have done.
One day you might turn around to find death staring you in the eyes.
You will be out of time.
Instead you must turn your gaze to the horizon in front of you.
You must walk towards what could be and away from what could have been.
We all have the power to shape our future but it is impossible if your mind is fixed upon the past.
Accept what you have done and bear the burden of your consequences in silence.
You created what you have right now.
You need to own what you have right now.
Do not regret what could have been.
Regret is worth nothing.
Until next time.