From The Desk of Maverick Brenton.
Subject: Making 2019 Great.
Christmas time is always my favourite time of the year.
It is this time of the year that I am very creative, have my best ideas and do a lot of thinking over the year that is now behind me.
I reflect upon the past year and if I made a few mistakes I do not regret what I have done.
Regret is worth nothing and will not make you a better man.
Reflection will make you a better man though.
With careful reflection you can look over your past and examine your mistakes.
You can look down upon what you have done from a higher perspective and see how you could have done it differently.
You can do it smarter next time.
We all screw up sometimes and it is a part of life.
With that said, don’t keep doing stupid shit over and over again because that is dumb.
If something is not working, adapt and evolve – become better for it.
For myself, this past year was filled with many mistakes.
Mistakes that fucked things up and altered the course of my life.
Will I sit around and bitch about how I lost what I was building because of my foolishness?
Will I regret dropping thousands into a business that didn’t work?
Will I regret getting fired from a job that really was too good to be true?
No, I will not.
Because it needed to happen.
I needed to learn the lessons I learnt and I needed a good hard slap in the face from life.
I needed to remember who I am because I had forgotten.
I was no longer Maverick Brenton.
I was another person.
A person who was not Maverick Brenton.
What was the result of not being who I truly am?
Misery, depression and pain.
What was the result of becoming who I truly am?
Purpose, energy and happiness.
So when the new year rolls around, I won’t be full of regret.
I won’t think about what could have been.
I do not do that because I know it is pointless.
Instead, I will thank the gods for reminding me who I am.
I will do what I do every time shit hits the fan in my life – I will become smarter, stronger and better.
I will live my philosophy.
The philosophy of AMOR FATI.
I will embrace my fate and become better because of it.
This past year was full of self-discovery, pain, adventure and even a little bit of love.
Upon reflection, all the little mistakes I made this year pushed me in a certain direction.
They pushed me back to being who I truly am and doing what I truly want to do.
You can call it fate.
You can call it chance.
I call it destiny.
We all forget who we are at some point.
We listen to the world outside of ourselves, a world which really does not know who we are.
I think our ability to look in the mirror and know who we are looking at, combined with our capacity to do what is actually best for the person looking back at us – determines how good our lives will be.
As I look back over 2018, there are three big lessons that stand out and really slapped me in the face once I learnt them.
So, I will share these with you and maybe you can learn something to.
Here are three ways to make 2019 your best year.
1) Surround Yourself with Good People Who Love You!
Are you lonely?
Many people are lonely these days and it is a sad thing.
Loneliness is a terrible feeling and I know this because this year I dealt with it for many months.
I was a long way from home, a long way from the people I loved and the people who love me.
Human beings are not meant to venture a long way from the place of their origin – from home.
We are wired to be around other people.
We are social animals.
For a very long time we have grown up in villages or small tribes with a strong sense of community.
This no longer exists.
The tribes no longer exist.
So we must create our community and build our tribe.
Today, most people are very alone without a community and without a tribe.
Just like me when I was living up in the cold mountains.
I never thought being alone and so far away from family would bother me – but it really did.
Loneliness will send you insane.
It might even kill you.
Just like it almost did to me.
It made me resentful and angry – it made me insane.
So I stopped being lonely and all the pain went away.
You must have good people around you and you must not be alone, unless you want to be miserable.
Maybe that means going back to your roots, where your family is?
Maybe it means breaking out of your shell and building a rich social life?
Maybe it means cutting off some people because they are negative and really holding you down?
Maybe it means completely changing who you are?
Whatever it takes, do it, because it will make your life so much better.
The people we spend our time with has a huge impact on who we become, how we feel and what we do.
Do not surround yourself with negative people and do not allow yourself to develop a negative attitude.
A negative attitude will ruin your life.
A negative attitude closes your mind off to the world and makes everything appear darker than it actually is.
So keep it positive.
Surround yourself with people who support you and people who care about you.
Do not be alone in 2019.
2) Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health
A very wise woman and mentor of mine works in the mental health industry.
She is a leadership coach and psychotherapist.
I have had many long conversations with her about not only myself but the world in which we live.
Through our conversations I became aware of something very dark.
A particular crisis we have that nobody seems to talk about.
It’s the depression and suicide rates among men, especially young men.
They are very high.
This is a problem, a problem I care about deeply.
I have seen it in people close to me.
I have come close to it myself.
If you are an emotionally healthy individual, suicide is something you would not even consider.
However, change the balance around in your life and you will start to see your attitude change.
Here’s a little secret:
In most cases it isn’t a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes depression and suicide.
It is the individuals life that is the problem.
Depression and suicide are the effects of a cause – they are not random occurences.
Take away the good people who you are around every day.
Be physically unfit and unhealthy.
Have no sense of purpose or meaning to your life.
All of a sudden you see no point to your life.
All of a sudden you are trapped in a darkness that seems to have no out.
You didn’t even see it coming.
Just like I never saw it coming.
I was not physically unfit and unhealthy, but I had multiple injuries that caused me pain every single day.
I could not walk in the morning because of a problem with my hip.
I would go to work on a construction site for the entire day, with negative people who I did not like to be around.
I would come home to nothing and nobody I loved.
I fucking hated every minute of it.
So what did I do about it?
I did nothing until I was forced to do something by my pain.
I kept doing it because I kept listening to the wrong people.
I “toughened up and acted like a man”.
I was a long way from home.
I was very alone.
I felt no excitement and I was depressed all the time.
At some point, hopefully, you will learn to just stop and do what is actually best for you.
After enough pain and misery, I finally reached this point.
I walked away from all of it and made a commitment to fix my life.
I decided to fix my physical health and my emotional health.
I committed to building a more meaningful, happier life.
Which is exactly what I did.
I stopped listening to everyone else and I did what was best for me.
Most people should just shut their mouth and stop telling young people what to do with their life.
Life is confusing enough simply because we never learn about it growing up.
We learn about bullshit instead.
The last thing young people need are the self appointed judges of humanity, who think they are geniuses, throwing their opinion around like it’s gold and making life even more confusing for them.
How about you all fuck off and focus on your own life instead of telling young people about everything wrong with them?
That solves nothing and it does nothing.
Lead by example instead.
Be the example.
Be the light.
Good leaders don’t play the blame game – they take responsibility for everything and they set the standards they want to see in others.
Unless your life is absolutely perfect, which is highly unlikely, shut up and actually help people instead of jamming your opinion down their throat.
Suicide is something foreign until it is staring you directly in the face, so take care of your physical health but more importantly take care of your emotional health.
A strong body will help you handle the adversity life throws at you, but you need to work on your emotional health also.
How do you do this?
You start by fixing your life and you do this by going back to the very basics.
You work your way up from the very basic human needs.
Eat good food.
Be around lots of good people and do not be alone.
Have strong boundaries and self-respect – stand up for yourself so you don’t descend into a dark hole of resentment and hate.
Go back to your family if you have to.
You NEED to be around good people every day because it is not healthy to be alone all the time.
Get in shape and stay healthy.
Once you have these things covered, you can raise your sights a little higher by asking bigger questions.
Does my life have meaning?
Am I really being who I am?
Am I truly happy or just pretending?
You could be pretending and not even know it.
This is why it is so important to pay attention to that inner voice and really be honest with yourself.
These are hard questions to answer because answering them means confronting reality and reality is not easy to confront.
Reality is not easy to confront because confronting reality means letting go what we currently believe – it means becoming lost to find yourself.
It means facing the harsh truth about yourself and letting go of all the delusions.
So, you cannot ask these higher questions and you cannot seek a meaningful life if your life is a complete mess.
You cannot do the deep thinking and personal work required to improve yourself if your basic needs are not being met.
Fix the foundation of your life first, then ask the higher questions.
The foundation of your life consists of the basics needs.
Often it takes a tremendous amount of pain to make us wake up and see reality.
If we are not being who we truly are and we are not living how we truly want to live, we will feel pain.
Which leads me to my last point.
3) Do YOU and Become Who YOU Are.
Are you really doing what you want to be doing?
Are you being who you truly are or are you wearing a mask because you are afraid to admit who you truly are?
In 2019, it is time to do what you really want to do and become who you truly are.
It is time to take off the mask and show the world who you really are.
Waste no more time being someone you are not because time is all you have – lost time is time lost forever.
When you are not doing your thing, you will feel out of place.
You won’t feel belonging and you won’t feel a connection to your work, because it is not your work.
You will be swimming upstream instead of with the current.
How do you do YOU?
How do you become who YOU truly are?
You listen carefully.
You listen to that inner voice and you start trusting yourself above everyone else.
The outside world will try very hard to tell you who you are and if you are not careful, you will end up becoming what it wants you to become.
Instead, you must stand strong and tell the outside world who you are, no matter what it thinks.
There are many forces that push us off our true path and make us forget who we are.
Too many to name.
However, they can only push us off our true path if we allow them to, because we make the final call.
Allowing other people to tell us who we are and what we should do is the biggest force.
We are social animals and we value the opinion of other people naturally – understand this and stop valuing the opinion of other people so much.
The world will tell you who you are but it simply cannot know.
Only you know who you are.
Only you know what you truly want.
Adopting this last lesson will mean confronting reality and it will be hard because confronting the truth about our self is hard.
You will learn something very important though.
Being who you are is far easier than being someone you are not.
Doing what you want to do is far greater than doing what you don’t want to do.
So, Do You.
Happy New Year and may you build yourself a better life in 2019.
Until Next Time.